Day of Giving Friday: Update on Ben

Card Making Ideas by Becca Feeken using Spellbinders Timeless Rectangles -
Good morning friends.  I know I have been missing here and thanks for the emails of support for my brother Ben.  I truly believe that this blog is a tool that’s been placed in my hands for a reason.   I like to think that it’s to share, learn and uplift – today for the comment, I’m going to dare to ask a difficult question.  You don’t have to answer but I hope you’ll think about it.

Many have asked, so I’ll share a brief update – I spoke to Ben’s Dr. yesterday who helped me understand that we’re at the point that even machines and medicine cannot sustain his body.   Every day since last Friday I’ve had a conference call with my family – we’re a very small family but very close.    The discussions with my family have been hard because Ben did not make his wishes clear and it’s brutal when a family has to parse through the choices because the terms and outcomes of it all are so real.

For your comment today, would you consider making your health care wishes known to your loved ones? There.  Some won’t like it but if I can save one family the pain of having selecting from the choices, then it’s worth it to me.

I promise that next week we’ll be back to upbeat cardmaking.  If you are new to my blog – you can find out more about Day of Giving on my FAQ List at #11.  My card today is an older card and some of the supplies are not available but I hope it serves as inspiration.



Stamps: None
Neenah Classic Crest (Natural White) 80lb Smooth
Versafine Onyx Black
 Spellbinders Timeless Rectangles, Spare Parts Oval Pearl Brad, Prima Flowers, Seam Binding, Recollections Pearls

Thanks so much for your prayers – my family is humbled by your kindness.  This week it was tough to conquer anything new but I’ll  have lots to share in the coming days! Sending hugs!


  • Judy InukaiNovember 6, 2015 - 10:15 am

    Oh Becca I am so sorry for what you are experiencing. I have made my wishes known, but even making them known makes it difficult for the ones who have to carry them out. My heart goes out to you and your family.ReplyCancel

  • IreneNovember 6, 2015 - 10:15 am

    I have already made my wishes known to my family, it forms part of my will, as well.
    All the best to you and your family, it is a tough process you are going through.ReplyCancel

  • MildredNovember 6, 2015 - 10:17 am

    Your card is beautiful, Becca. So sorry for the hard choices you and your family face. We made our wishes known years ago. Our doctor has a copy and there is one on the side of the refrigerator for the EMTs. End of life decisions are not easy for anyone. God bless.ReplyCancel

  • Elaine JohnsonNovember 6, 2015 - 10:20 am

    Dear Becca,
    My heart goes out to you and your family. Prayers, as well. Peace for you all.
    My husband and I made a living trust years ago and it has lifted anxiety for our children. Our wishes are listed in the trust and we have made our daughter, who is a nurse, in charge of our medical directive. We trust her judgement . I would wish for all families to set up such an arrangement and put responsible people in charge of your wishes. It has really taken the thought of placing a burden on the family who might not be able to make a decision at that trying time.

    You already know that God is with you always. May his love and that your knowledge of it comfort you and your family.

    Many blessings.

  • Janet SaievaNovember 6, 2015 - 10:21 am

    Your card is absolutely stunning…I love the blue and white!

    Continued prayers for Ben, you and a your family. I definitely think that we should all let our loved ones know what our health care wishes are. No families should be put through the agony that your family is feeling right now. God Bless all of you.


  • DottieNovember 6, 2015 - 10:23 am

    When setting up a trust you have to write up a will where one has to think about future problems and scenarios. This has been really good for our family as doing so has become more comfortable for all of us to discuss the inevitable passing of hubby or myself. Now we are free to laugh about who gets my art room stuff etc. It is responsible to take care of others by doing what will ease their grief etc. later. Sometimes the fear discussing these things may stem ones own fear of death and it is very uncomfortable. That’s where Jesus fits in quite beautifully.ReplyCancel

  • Pattie JnsNovember 6, 2015 - 10:26 am

    Becca, this is a hard question to answer. but necessary for life concerns. I would have prayer together first, sitting down then to dicuss all the possibilities, of what to do. because your family is small and close, this is a loving time and not a morbid time. God gives us understanding and love to each other. He is the ultimate questions. Not knowing Ben’s wishes is difficult but knowing his personality and love of family will help in that decision. do the best for him and for God. He will comfort and guide you all.

    My family lives overseas, and we are here, so we talked to the children about our final wishes and prepaired, them to help them at that time. They were appreciated, and released from a lot of worry. To me that is the best way, together with God’s guidance. I pray this will comfort you with love. I will continue to pray for your family, and for Ben/ReplyCancel

  • Debbie DunhamNovember 6, 2015 - 10:26 am

    Beautiful card and prayers for Ben. I have already discussed everything with my children and it is written down with my will. Hopefully when the time comes they will do as agreed.ReplyCancel

  • LynetteNovember 6, 2015 - 10:31 am

    Just said a prayer for Ben, and for you Becca. You have faced such adversity. May a miracle be bestowed on your brother when all else isn’t working. Sending hugs, stay strong. xoReplyCancel

  • Christine HarropNovember 6, 2015 - 10:31 am

    Hello Becca, I do feel for you in what you are experiencing but with the Lord’s help you will win through. I feel it is very important that our wishes are made known to family, and more than one member too. When my dad was coming close to meeting his Saviour we all knew exactly what he wanted because there had been discussions. My wishes are all written out ready for when the time comes. So very important. Love and God Bless. Christine xx
    Oops! Forget to mention your gorgeous card.ReplyCancel

  • Margie LuttrellNovember 6, 2015 - 10:33 am

    I definitely have let my wishes known – want to be cremated and a do not resuscitate clause is in effect ! Becca, God must think you are a very strong individual because he sure does throw “stuff” at you a lot. Hang in there and be strong. We love you !ReplyCancel

  • Evie ShambleyNovember 6, 2015 - 10:34 am

    Becca, I am so sorry for the decision that you & family are having to make and news that you have received. It is never easy facing the future with an illness that can’t be a good outcome. I pray that God will give each of you comfort during this time and that he will comfort Ben. My husband & I have been working on decisions, have not finished yet. May God Bless each of you.ReplyCancel

  • Lizz NelsonNovember 6, 2015 - 10:40 am

    I feel that family member should make there wish known. It was a great comfort to me when I had to make a decision to take my Father off life support. It was family decision but it came down to me saying go ahead and take him off. I know that was what my Father would of wanted. He really wanted to go home to be with our Lord. So I do understand what you are going through.ReplyCancel

  • LindaNovember 6, 2015 - 10:41 am

    Good morning Becca. I’m so sorry for all your going through. We faced this situation with my husbands mother, it wasn’t easy but we did the best we could and fudged our way through it doing what we thought she would like. That being said I don’t want to go through that with my parents and we are not a close family. I don’t have any idea if my parents have planned anything or not and I don’t ask out of fear of being told “it’s none of my/our business”. I’ll be thinking about you and praying for you.
    God bless you and your family.ReplyCancel

  • Susan LankfordNovember 6, 2015 - 10:41 am

    Hi Becca…such a beautiful card!
    I have made my wishes known to my family and have made all the arrangements…from the legal paperwork down to the actual choices. I am a retired nurse and saw many family conflicts over decisions not settled before incapacitation…sad, but a good lesson.
    If it comes to you and your family having to make decisions about Ben…I pray the Lord will give you the wisdom and discernment that only He can give.ReplyCancel

  • Clare WNovember 6, 2015 - 10:42 am

    My heart goes out to you all at this difficult time. My wishes are known and would hopefully be carried out. It sounds trite to say lovely card today but it is as always. Don’t worry about the blog. Sounds like you’ve got more than enough on your plate at the moment. Family comes first. We all understand. Take good care of yourself. Luv n hugs….ReplyCancel

  • Janice BrummettNovember 6, 2015 - 10:43 am

    Becca, love this card. I saw this earlier on your blog and TRIED to make one similar. I used pale green and ivory and it turned out beautiful. My cousin who is battling cancer thought it was gorgeous and it made her day.

    Having another cousins POA, I had to make a decision to stop his dialysis knowing so would kill him. He had a directive, but chose to have dialysis and after 2 years, it was no longer working. I prayed and prayed about my decision. With the advice from his doctors, nurses, his minister and my minister, I chose to stop his dialysis. Watching him day by day slip away was very hard. I came to terms with my decision knowing I did what was BEST for him. This was the second hardest decision I’ve had to make. My first decision was to increase my dad’s morphine to keep him out of pain knowing the increase would shorten his life. Once again, I prayed and prayed what was best for my dad. The doctor advised me my decision probably shorten his life by a couple of hours. I didn’t want my dad to suffer any more.

    We are faced with hard decisions from time to time. My only advice is to think of what is best for that person. After dealing with family matters, and facing cancer myself, I have a written Health Care Directive. M.D. Anderson Cancer Center would not “work” on me until I had it written form. This made me face my own mortality so my husband and sons didn’t have to make the decision. May God’s love and your faith get you through this difficult time. My prayers will continue for you and your family.ReplyCancel

  • Anne (UK)November 6, 2015 - 10:48 am

    Oh Becca! My heart goes out to Ben, you and your family.
    I have lifted you all in prayer that each of you may find peace with whatever decision you reach together.
    You remind me that this is something that we should all consider!
    May God bless you all.
    Anne (UK) x
    And your card is beautiful.ReplyCancel

  • CaronNovember 6, 2015 - 10:49 am

    Hello Becca
    Another beautiful card. So sorry for all the difficulties you are facing. I think it is important to make one’s wishes known for the sake of other family members.
    Thinking of you and Ben. xxReplyCancel

  • SuzzieQNovember 6, 2015 - 10:50 am

    Oh, sweet Becca. My heart aches for you and your family in having to consider what your brother Ben’s wishes would be for his end of life. Not having those directives, one must ponder if the survivors would want their loved one to live with current health conditions. God has a plan for Ben as well as each of us who believe in Him. My prayers go out to you and your family during this difficult decision time to give you the strength and understanding you need now.

    I have made my heathcare wishes known to my family. I also carry a donor card.

    Your card creation today is lovely. I like that is shows movement.ReplyCancel

  • Sherry R.November 6, 2015 - 10:51 am

    Rebecca, I am truly sorry. You are in my prayers. Being a nurse, and having worked in hospice, I know what a difficult time this is. Having to make medical decisions adds only adds to the weight of one’s grief. I would urge anyone, no matter what their age, to consider their wishes and make a ‘Living Will’. It can be as simple as one writing thier wishes on paper and having it notarized, if possible. Also, many states have simple forms or links to them on their Department of Health and Elder Service sites. You can also go here:
    This is the AARP site. Use the drop-down menu and click on your state. God Bless.ReplyCancel

  • LisaNovember 6, 2015 - 10:51 am

    Been praying for you an your family. We thought about these same decisions and verbally made our wishes known only after my father in law was in a tragic car accident and on life support for a couple of weeks and then started breathing on his own but left in a vegetative state on a feeding tube for 8 years, eventually dying from pneumonia. It reminded me to write it down, because as a woman I don’t want life support unless I was pregnant and it could save the life of my unborn baby. It is important to write it out so others know. Thanks for reminding me!
    Beautiful card too as always, I find creating helps me through tough times because it keeps my thoughts on others and not on myself. I will continue to keep you, Ben and your family in prayer. God BlessReplyCancel

  • Mary EstherNovember 6, 2015 - 10:51 am

    Becca, I NEED to put my wishes in writing. I have expressed it verbally but I know it needs to be in writing as well.

    Thank you for sharing your heart and your beautiful art!ReplyCancel

  • Doris Davis-BegleyNovember 6, 2015 - 10:52 am

    Becca, So sorry for what your family is dealing, I pray everyone is together on the decisions. I have made all of my wishes known, to my husband and family.My mother is still living and she is up in age, and she has let us know her wishes with me I’m the oldest of five kids.I’m tried talking with my husband about his wishes but no luck so far.ReplyCancel

  • LoisNovember 6, 2015 - 10:56 am

    Thank you for sharing your grief. May God continue to give you strength through these next weeks. Don’t feel you have to have more cards and ideas for us right at this time. Just keep us posted as you can. Yes, we are all set with our plans. Some other things people should consider while making plans is giving your computer password to a family member, especially if you own a business or pay bills on line.
    God be with you and your family.ReplyCancel

  • Sheila-UKNovember 6, 2015 - 10:56 am

    Dear Becca,
    Oh I’m so very sorry that you and you family have such hard decisions to make about your wonderful brother my heart goes out to you and your family. I lost my darling hubby early on in the year and although we had been married for 47 years and he was only 68, we had never discussed what are wishes would be for the funeral if either one of us died , so I turned to his sister and she was a big help to me and guided me along the way… my answer is ‘yes’ we should talk to our family and friends about it so they don’t have to worry about these things especially while they are grieving about such a loss.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you Becca. Take care and God bless.
    It goes without saying that your card is beautiful as always.

    hugs Sheila xxReplyCancel

  • KimNovember 6, 2015 - 10:57 am

    Becca thanks for sharing your lovely card… Will keep you and your family in my prayers during this difficult time and will talk with my husband about filling out this health care directive so are kids or family members never have to struggle with it….. Hugs to youReplyCancel

  • MaryannNovember 6, 2015 - 10:59 am

    Oh sweet lady, my heart really goes out for you and your family. I totally agree, that no family members should have to take these choises. It´s severalyears ago since we talked all this through here and I told my family exactly how I wanted things to be, even they got a bit upset, as they thought it was not something to think about already, but we never know, how life will form and what might happen tomorrow, so I thought it was good to take the stand and let them know, how I would like things to be, and my husbond has also done the same, so our kids wount have to take any hard decisions like this, and even they thought it was weird, I´m very sure it has given us all some kind of peace that we all know now.
    Your card today is absolut stunning. The blue color here has always been my all time favorite, and together this is just perfect and sooo very very beautiful, but then all your work always are. I hope, you´ll have a nice a peaceful week ahead here now Becca, and please take good care of yourself too okay?
    Loveand big warm cyberhugs from me.ReplyCancel

  • DianeNovember 6, 2015 - 11:07 am

    Hugs right back to you, Becca. God bless you and your family during this difficult time.ReplyCancel

  • charleneNovember 6, 2015 - 11:10 am

    I pray for you and your family during this time, be encouraged and thank you for using you gift even through this difficult time God gave us the gifts and talent we have to bring us and others comfort during challenging times.Blessings!!!!!ReplyCancel

  • StarNovember 6, 2015 - 11:12 am

    My husband and I have written directives as to what we want if we are unable to convey that information directly. We didn’t want to let those decisions for family to make—not fair to them as this time is so difficult anyway. My prayers are with you and your family as you make these difficult decisions. Trust that God will help you in your struggle.ReplyCancel

  • Barbara WilsonNovember 6, 2015 - 11:13 am

    It is something every family should do to save the remaining family heartache. Beautiful card.ReplyCancel

  • Barbara TranquillaNovember 6, 2015 - 11:13 am

    Hi Becca, It is with a heavy heart for you and your family that I respond to your query. Ben’s circumstance is not the answer you prayed and hoped for but it is God’s will. This discussion about one’s last wishes regarding medical care arises even if discussed before hand because the family still has to tell the medical staff what to do and a consensus is often not there. If the loved one knows the Lord, then it becomes so much easier to let go of his hand and have Jesus take his other hand but not everyone is saved so a blanket answer of yes ending artificial prolonged agony for patient and loved ones is not a clear choice. Whatever the family decides, when done in love and respect for God’s will is the correct one and God will honor the outcome and have it work for the good even if you can’t see what that good is. I’ll continue to pray for you.


  • Carolyn LNovember 6, 2015 - 11:14 am

    I have been in the same position with my mother. Her end of life wishes were made well in advance but unfortunately, family issues arose when it came time to carry them out.
    Becca, it is very hard to stay strong and focused but you Must. It is all about what your brother would want, predicated on your family’s knowledge of him and his heart and soul. At the end of the day, Ben rules. His love for you and his family will guide you all to the right decision at the right time.
    God bless you and your family.ReplyCancel

  • Judy CoveyNovember 6, 2015 - 11:17 am

    So very sorry to hear about your brother’s health issues, it’s got to be so hard on the rest of the family, especially your mother. I hope that he is resting in peace. To answer your question: I would definitely make sure that my family/loved ones are well aware of my wishes when it comes to the end of my life. I’ll be praying for you and your family Becca, especially your brother.ReplyCancel

  • Wanda ThomasNovember 6, 2015 - 11:18 am

    Ask anyone if they would have wished their loved one had done that in advance. I daresay that everyone would say yes. So if you truly love someone (which means you love them more than yourself), you would do that for them, no matter how difficult it is for you. Mine are done as our my husband’s and it’s a worry we don’t even have to think about.
    I’m so sorry you are having to go through this, but as you say, perhaps some people will be spared the grief through your post.ReplyCancel

  • Marilyn ClarkNovember 6, 2015 - 11:25 am

    Praying for your family. God bless.ReplyCancel

  • christiNovember 6, 2015 - 11:28 am

    prayers for your family and brother. i definately have told my relatives what i want. i remember seeing my mother’s DNR request posted on her fridge, when i came home for a visit. i told her i didn’t like it but i would respect her wishes. todays card is gorgeous.ReplyCancel

  • Ann LindNovember 6, 2015 - 11:28 am

    Becca my heart goes out to you and your family. Our son has progressive aggressive MS he is just 44 and he wants to have assisted suicide through a doctor when he gets to the point where his vision is totally gone and he is bedridden. When it is someone you love with all your heart it is hard to accept these decisions. Even harder when you don’t know what their wishes are. Our head tells us what we should do but our heart wants to keep them with us.I will pray for you and your family to have the courage to make the right decision for Ben and gods peace to accept the loss. Hugs AnnReplyCancel

  • Sherry LowmasterNovember 6, 2015 - 11:29 am

    beautiful card!! Becca, I know what you are going thru. back in 84 my mom had cancer and when they did a procedure to see if she had more, her kidneys stopped working and the had to put her on dyalasis. i truly believe our prayers were keeping her alive, altho she wasn’t responsive. when we changed our prayers to Lord let you will be done, she passed on. it’s really hard to pray that prayer, but we have to trust that God is still in control and He knows what He is doing. I am praying for you and your family that God will give you peace what ever your choice may be and that you will feel His presence in the following days as you make these hard choices.ReplyCancel

  • SueNovember 6, 2015 - 11:42 am

    Becca, it sounds like some difficult decisions might have to be made on behalf of Ben, and I hope your family is all in agreement. I have made my wishes known to my family. Take all the time you need to get through this, we will still be here waiting for you!
    This is an absolutely stunning card and I really like that Spellbinders set and how you have utilized it.ReplyCancel

  • Lillian L.November 6, 2015 - 11:50 am

    Becca, my heart goes out to you and your family. My prayers are with you. I know God will lead you in your decision making. I absolutely would make my health care wishes known to my family. In fact, I did so several years ago. I realize many just don’t think about making their wishes known. It is not something the think about. God bless you my dear friend.ReplyCancel

  • Maureen KNovember 6, 2015 - 11:52 am

    Dear Becca,
    In my lifetime, I have had to make decisions regarding my father, mother and my oldest brother. This was difficult, but easy at the same time because of the circumstances and my decision was based on what was best for them.
    On Independence Day this year, my remaining brother died. All decision was taken out of our hands because he went to sleep and did not wake up. This was infinitely better for him, but we are grieving because we had no time to say goodbye in this life.
    Even if wishes were not spelt out, pray and make your decision on what is best for Ben.
    My husband and myself have planned our funerals and made our wishes known as regards illness. This does not mean we are in a hurry to depart this life, but to make it easier for those who are left behind.
    love and prayers
    Maureen xxxReplyCancel

  • CynthiaNovember 6, 2015 - 11:53 am

    Your creation is beautiful. As for communicating our wishes to family, I have taken it a step further, by placing my wishes in writing and in my will. I’ve been through the family differences concerning end-of-life decisions and it is so stressful. Praying for you and your family. CynthiaReplyCancel

  • JeanNovember 6, 2015 - 12:03 pm

    Our kids live all over the world so we have all the proper papers signed, wills made, burial plot, stone marker, funeral arrangements, and all paid for. Have done that over the past 5 years and happily know that there will not be any problems in the end.
    Bless your family.ReplyCancel

  • ElliNovember 6, 2015 - 12:09 pm

    About twelve years ago I had to make the decision for my brother. After the Dr. explained everything, all alone I made the decision to take him off life support. It was so hard but I knew God was in it. As hard as it is to explain there was more peace in dying than in his living. I hope this helps. elliReplyCancel

  • Judy BNovember 6, 2015 - 12:13 pm

    Oh Becca, prayers for you and your family. May God give you all strength and comfort in this difficult time. I pray He will help you all in making a very emotional decision.

    Your card is beautiful as always. Love the bow!ReplyCancel

  • Rai LynnNovember 6, 2015 - 12:25 pm

    We just lost my dad in June, but he made it so much easier. He made his wishes clear to my mom and each adult child. He went so far as to say how he wanted to be buried and have his life celebrated. One of my brothers is a doctor and he was VERY adamant about how he wanted his care handled. When decisions had to be made, there were no disagreements or doubts. It’s a hard discussion, but what a gift to your family!!!ReplyCancel

  • Lori RitchieNovember 6, 2015 - 12:25 pm

    Hi Becca, my prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time, I have voiced my wishes but they are not in writing, I will sit down and write it out so that my family won’t have to make decisions.ReplyCancel

  • CandyNovember 6, 2015 - 12:25 pm

    Dear Becca,
    How sorry I am to hear about Ben this morning. I pray your family will be strong enough to make the extremely hard decisions.
    My whole family has made their wishes know before hand by speaking about it with everyone. Putting your decisions in your Will is too late – because people don’t read it until afterwards.
    I do have to say though, when my father and my husband died and I knew they didn’t want to be hooked up to machines etc; it was the hardest thing in the world for me
    to do as they wished. I felt like I was killing them both. I had their instructions in writing to give the hospital, but the feeling is still with me.
    I do however, know I HAD TO DO AS THEY WISHED.
    With loving thoughts of you all – CandyReplyCancel

  • DianaNovember 6, 2015 - 12:26 pm

    Hi Becca, I’m so sorry the outcome you had wished and prayed for aren’t coming true. God has the answers and one day, there will be more understanding for you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
    My husband and I have a Living Will, so our wishes are spelled out on paper. I’ve also talked to my daughter over time to tell her what I’d like to have. A party with laughter and smiles. It’s easy to say now and I know the end of a life is difficult, but I have hopes that it will be easier for my children if they know ahead of time and aren’t ‘stuck’ with choices that they shouldn’t have to make.
    Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Hugs, Diana (your card is beautiful)ReplyCancel

  • JudiNovember 6, 2015 - 12:28 pm

    Dear Becca,
    I am so sorry to hear about your brother and the difficult decisions you and your family have to make. Consider the quality of life he has now and will have in the future and that may make this decision a little easier. With God’s help, you will make the right decision. I’m praying for you and your family during this difficult time.

  • Jonna CarpenterNovember 6, 2015 - 12:35 pm

    I have made my wishes known to my family. I believe it is the right thing to do to spare them the additional grief, sadness, and stress tgey are alreday enduring.
    Your card today is beautiful. Thank you for thinking of us during this hard time for you and your family. I will pray for you all.ReplyCancel

  • Earlene BostNovember 6, 2015 - 12:35 pm

    I don’t envy your family’s position at this time. I know it is hard to hear such news from a loved one’s doctor. But above all, GOD is in control. Trust in HIM and HIS outcome. I heard the same words when my husband was in the latter stages of his illness. I wanted to hang on, try anything for extra time; but my husband made a choice. A choice that I had to accept. He was tired and did not want to suffer anymore. To his words, I had to concede. But he did speak the words. Since Ben can not voice his choices now, continue your family discussions, trust your love and knowledge of him as a person. GOD will guide you and touch your hearts. Let HIM guide your choice. Much love! Much peace!
    Yes I will make my choices known.ReplyCancel

  • Christine SpringmanNovember 6, 2015 - 12:53 pm

    Yes I would discuss my health wishes my family. Another beautiful card Becca I hope your brother is not suffering too much. ChristineReplyCancel

  • CheriNovember 6, 2015 - 1:01 pm

    I have made my wishes very clear to both my children and my immediate family. I have a living will, and my sister is my health proxy, because I would never want either of my children to be faced with the decision to “pull the plug” so to speak. It’s so difficult to be going through this Becca, my heart aches for you. I know God will see you through this, keep us posted when possible.

  • BARBARA DEE MCELDOWNEYNovember 6, 2015 - 1:02 pm

    The Lord is with you and He will gently lead you. He is right there by all your sides – Ben’s too. Hold tight to Him – He will put His word in your hearts for Ben. We suffer with you gracious lady and pray for His comfort for you all. ox from Auckland New ZealanReplyCancel

  • Sonia StephensonNovember 6, 2015 - 1:06 pm

    Hi Becca. So very sorry to hear your update. Am sending you big hugs and prayers to your brother and family. I would definitely let my loved ones know my health care wishes – something I have been thinking of doing along with my will.
    I love your beautiful card today – thank you for taking the time to share.
    Hugs xxxReplyCancel

  • Carol RossouwNovember 6, 2015 - 1:19 pm

    What a tough situation for your family! I understand something of the trauma of this decision as we faced the same thing with my father. Praise God at the last He took my dad before we had to finally make that choice. I have already made my choices about my death and funeral known to my children – they know what I want & don’t want (this will save a lot of complications when the time comes so that everyone knows what to do & people are not stepping on each other’s toes to do what they think should be done – I’ve learned that from experience!) Becca, just know that you are being upheld in prayer, & if I could give you a hug, I would. Love this beautiful card too!ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly WurlNovember 6, 2015 - 1:19 pm

    Dear Becca,
    Although I do not know you personally, I read your blog and admire your talent daily. I am so sorry to hear about your brother. You are in my heart and prayers.

    Many years ago, our family had to make a decision regarding my grandmother. It was difficult as she was very fearful of dying. She was dying of cancer that was spread throughout her body. There was no hope of a cure. She was being kept somewhat comfortable with drugs but was often suffering in between doses. Her doctor recommended taking away her nutrition. She slipped into a coma and passed peacefully. Even though it was difficult, after much prayer, it seemed like the right thing to do. I am sorry that anyone has to face such decisions. I wish you peace as you face this.
    Kim WurlReplyCancel

  • BunnyNovember 6, 2015 - 1:20 pm

    Beautiful card. My wishes have been made to my family already.

    If people don’t know what their family’s wishes are………ASK them, please. It’s so much easier on you to know that you are doing what they ask.ReplyCancel

  • CarolBNovember 6, 2015 - 1:32 pm

    I’ll be praying for Ben, poor fellow.
    I have finished my Advanced Directive, so everyone who needs to know will know what I want when it’s time. I’ve also spoken directly to my relatives with my wishes.ReplyCancel

  • Mary HolshouserNovember 6, 2015 - 1:38 pm

    My family knows that I do not want to be kept alive just so I’m there physically. If it’s time – let me go, I don’t want a lot of heroics.
    I have also told them that they have permission to put the little dog to sleep when I’m gone. She has severe attachment to me and can not be left with others. She cries and carries on and nobody wants to keep here. I don’t want them to feel that they have to keep her just because she was mom’s dog.
    Best wishes on making your decision.ReplyCancel

  • Jan CastleNovember 6, 2015 - 1:43 pm

    Your card is GORGEOUS Becca…as it always is!
    Absolutely! My husband is not doing well, and I have general information as to what he wants, but not as much as I think I might need – a bit stressful for me.
    Paper Hugs,

  • Karen RothNovember 6, 2015 - 1:58 pm

    Oh, Hun My heart grieves for you {{{hugz}}}. Will be praying for comfort and peace and wisdom. May God wrap His loving arms around each of your family members and you.

    –The card is beautiful and with no verse I think it speaks your heart at the moment which makes it all the more beautiful.

    I have tried to make my wishes known but noone wants to hear it in my husband’s family and my own family disowned me 11 years ago. So as soon as I find out the results of this blood test (we have discovered a 1cm rock hard nodule in my neck) I just took. I will be doing my Advanced Directive, My Will, Planning my entire Funeral and Buying Life Insurance Somehow but it will be hard as I have no money of my own except for a $25.00 Allowance each month. I am only 43 and very ill.ReplyCancel

  • BenteNovember 6, 2015 - 2:08 pm

    Today’s card is beautiful, lovely colors!
    It is so hard to read what you and your family are going through these days, Becca. I send you warm thoughts.
    Yes, I want to inform my family about my health care wishes, so they know what to do if such a situation should occur in the future. And I also hope to be informed about their wishes.ReplyCancel

  • Brenda DavisNovember 6, 2015 - 2:18 pm

    I am so very sorry you are going thru this difficult time, prayers abound!

    Having been thru this many times, most recently with my Mother, we find it imperative that wishes be written, not just told to someone. Hard to say but some family members have agendas of their own so they might make a decision not coinciding with the family member in question. If it is in a living will or whatever is recognized where you live, do it. It not only makes the decision for everyone but relieves the survivors of guilt and shame.

    Puts life in perspective…….ReplyCancel

  • Anita BraddockNovember 6, 2015 - 2:19 pm

    whats on my mind is just that its been a hard time in my life with my Dad passing then my uncle and then 3 months ago my Brother passed I have been having such a hard time with this then my Mom is loosing her home so there is so much on my shoulders its hard to comprehend why this is so. I know I have to move on and I try with our Granddaughter in the house I keep busy but the down times is the hardest. well thanks for letting me say what I can . you have a great Day.ReplyCancel

  • Trish AveryNovember 6, 2015 - 2:21 pm

    Morning Becca and my thoughts are with you today while Ben is going through this procedure. Your card is lovely as usual.
    Yes I think it is very important to discuss with family what to do when the time comes that we are not able to make decisions for ourselves.
    Hugs Trish.ReplyCancel

  • LoydeneNovember 6, 2015 - 2:27 pm

    Thank you for your question. It is an important conversation for all families to have — and we need to get to the point where it isn’t painful to have the conversation! Because – at its essence — the question is asked out of love. Further for parents to address some of those issues well before decisions need to be made or conversations initiated, is a gift of love.ReplyCancel

  • YvonneNovember 6, 2015 - 2:29 pm

    Hi Becca – Again, sorry about Ben. It is such a hard thing to have to go through. My husband and I have a living trust and all arrangements have been made through that. We also have our plot and marker on it. Will be making the arrangements when we finally decide on the right place. It’s not an easy thing to go through and we wanted everything decided before it’s our time, which is getting nearer. Love to you and your family. Your card is very special, as usual.ReplyCancel

  • Maxine DNovember 6, 2015 - 2:40 pm

    Oh Becca what a hard place to find yourselves in!! Yes, yes, yes, I would definitely tell my family my wishes as far as my end of life/ crisis care are – in fact I would write them down so they are perfectly clear and the family are not left to second guess what I would have wanted.
    Love this card – that shade of blue is one that I love – it positively sings to me.

  • Jean A MarmoNovember 6, 2015 - 2:49 pm

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Such a pretty card!ReplyCancel

  • MaureenNovember 6, 2015 - 2:54 pm

    Thank you, Becca,, I have talked with my daughter about this but you made me realize I really need to be crystal clear. My prayers are with you and your family at this so very difficult time.ReplyCancel

  • Joni StonekingNovember 6, 2015 - 2:56 pm

    Such grief and heartache, all complicated by unimaginable decisions to make without hints of what Ben would want. I’m so sorry for you and your family,nail ready exhausted by the vigil and worry, now having to make this choice. Know that whatever you choose, be assured that Ben and all of you always stand and rest within the circle of God’s care, love and grace, and that nothing that happens, nothing you do, will change that.

    Blessings and peace to you and yours. You are in my prayers.


  • Faulba DorsettNovember 6, 2015 - 2:59 pm

    My stepdaughter beat breast cancer 4 years ago. She was diagnosed with lung cancer 4 months ago. The radiation and chemo liked to have killed her. The lung cancer has spread throughout her body and on her cornea. If she does not do chemo, she has 3-6 months to live. If she has the treatment, she will only have 1 year to 1-1/2 years. She is having a very difficult decision to make and no one can make that decision for her. We can only pray she makes the right one for herself. We have to turn it over to the Lord and trust his decision.ReplyCancel

  • Joni StonekingNovember 6, 2015 - 3:00 pm

    Forgot to add…we have advanced directives on file with our insurance providers, an HMO. Our families are aware of our wishes, and there shouldn’t be any angst should there be unexpected event.


  • STARNovember 6, 2015 - 3:01 pm





  • ChristyNovember 6, 2015 - 3:09 pm

    I think it is very important to create a living will AND a health care power of attorney. We never know what will happen, and that way no one has to guess what we would want. In a living will, it is clearly stated if and to what extent one wishes to have one’s life prolonged. The power of attorney names the individual trusted to make known and carry out those wishes. My husband and I have had those documents executed by the attorney who drew up our wills. They are on file at the hospital where we would most likely be treated as well as with out wills and with our attorney. Everyone should do that for their families. The sadness of saying good bye is made much deeper by not knowing the wishes of the person in decline.ReplyCancel

  • Sandy ArtmanNovember 6, 2015 - 3:09 pm

    Our dear, Becca,
    Prayers and blessings as you and your family make these agonizing decisions.

    I made some tough decisions for my mom and even with an advance directive, there was ambiguity. Fortunately, I had a close relationship where we talked about her feelings about end-of-life, when she was healthy. You do us all a favor by bringing this to mind. I have been procrastinating on my advanced directive and I promise to get it done. Thank you!

    What a beautiful card. I just love the star pattern and how perfect for today’s blog. As Ben enters the heavenly realm, we can see him as a star shining bright on your family – giving you peace, hope and comfort.

    What good hands you have, my dear, so strong and loving!
    Love and blessings,

  • TanyaNovember 6, 2015 - 3:09 pm

    Praying for your and all of your loved ones!ReplyCancel

  • TanyaNovember 6, 2015 - 3:12 pm

    I have made my wishes known several times to family members, but probably should put something in writing!ReplyCancel

  • ANN ROBBINSNovember 6, 2015 - 3:16 pm

    I am so sorry to hear of what you have been going through. Having 2 children, one a special needs daughter, I know we did the right thing in getting our wills done and also directives so my son will know what to do when the time comes. It is definitely a hard decision to make but makes it easier in the end. We all love and care about you and know we have Ben just as we did with John in our prayers.
    All our love
    Ann RobbinsReplyCancel

  • CatherineNovember 6, 2015 - 3:18 pm

    Most emphatically YES. It is a matter of kindness to the family.

    In Canada, there is a legal document called a living will. As with a property will, the will we are familiar with, there is an executor. The living will specifies to what degree a person should be resuscitated or their life prolonged and the executor is responsible to make sure their wishes are carried out. I am the executor of both types of wills for both my parents. It will never be an easy choice but at least I know I am doing what they wish.ReplyCancel

  • Nichol RoskampNovember 6, 2015 - 3:22 pm

    Aunt Becky
    I a so very sorry to hear about your brother Ben! I really liked him the time I was able to meet him, I liked all of your family :)
    My family knows that I do not want to be kept alive on life support if there is not a chance of full recovery. I have also been contemplating lately over needing a full burial funeral or cremation. I don’t really know how I feel. At this point it is a money factor so I am siding with cremation but if my children really want to have a full burial I am ok with them doing so.
    Again I pray that you will have peace and complete consensus with your family. I pray that Ben is comfortable and able to experiance the full glory of Jesus Christ where he will be able to worship for eternity with Him.

  • BonnieNovember 6, 2015 - 3:47 pm

    Becca, My heart goes out to you and your family at this time of sorrow. I have already let my family know my last wishes and hope they are ok with what I have asked. My God keep you and your family in his loving arms during your time of need.

  • Maria RodriguezNovember 6, 2015 - 3:51 pm

    Dear Becca, I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this pain and uncertainty. Know that we are all thinking of you sending our thoughts and prayers.
    I have already let my family know my last wishes but my husband and I need to put it in writing so there will be no hesitation or doubt.

  • JoyceNovember 6, 2015 - 4:42 pm

    HI Becca, I am so sorry to hear about your brother and the decision that you and your family are faced with. I must be truthful and say that I have not made it known to my family of my wishes should I become unresponsive. I see now how important it is so I will be making it known to my family. Thanks so much for bringing this to my attention. Praying for you and your family.ReplyCancel

  • Cheryl hagenNovember 6, 2015 - 4:46 pm

    Be careful you are truly amazingly strong in your moment of sadness to think of others. I am certain everyone of us will be more than happy to wait while you deal with real life, loyal to the end. Take your time! Thanks for the advice, we will take it to heart!ReplyCancel

  • Judy BNovember 6, 2015 - 4:47 pm

    Yes, I think we all should make our wishes known to our loved ones in case such a event should befall us. I am sorry for your problems with your brother, Ben. I hope that God will guide you to an answer that you can all abide by. My thoughts are with you.ReplyCancel

  • AlisonNovember 6, 2015 - 4:52 pm

    A stunning card Becca Love the blue and white and the layering.
    Sorry to hear that the news about Ben is not so positive. My thoughts are with you all!
    Regarding your Question- If the person is of sound mind at the time, I would hope that they could leave a message to say how the wish to be treated if they come to a point where they are unable to decide! When my mother was very ill and there was no quality of life for her I made the decision not lightly, To have her kept comfortable, clean, pain free and looked after, BUT NO medical interventions to take place. It took a while to come to this point but I felt it was in Mothers best interest.ReplyCancel

  • AlisonNovember 6, 2015 - 4:52 pm

    A stunning card Becca Love the blue and white and the layering.
    Sorry to hear that the news about Ben is not so positive. My thoughts are with you all!
    Regarding your Question- If the person is of sound mind at the time, I would hope that they could leave a message to say how the wish to be treated if they come to a point where they are unable to decide! When my mother was very ill and there was no quality of life for her I made the decision not lightly, To have her kept comfortable, clean, pain free and looked after, BUT NO medical interventions to take place. It took a while to come to this point but I felt it was in Mother’s best interest.ReplyCancel

  • Sandra SmithNovember 6, 2015 - 4:56 pm

    Oh Becca, I am so sorry for what your family is going through and for what is happening to Ben. I know what this is like because my husband’s family had to make these decisions for his Mother. It wasn’t easy but they did feel confident that she would not want to be kept alive by machines. She was a wonderful woman and a child of God who shared her faith with all.

    My husband and I have Living Wills that make our wishes known but included in these wills are instructions that allow medical measures until family has arrived to say their goodbyes. When my Father passed two years ago, I did not get to say goodbye. I had already moved my date to fly out up but I was still one day late because he passed much quicker than anyone anticipated. I was the only member of our immediate family who didn’t get to be with my Father before he passed and I will always regret that. I didn’t realize it would mean as much as it does since I had been with him a few months earlier but you don’t realize it until after. I encourage you to give family members the opportunity for last goodbyes before making a final decision. I am continuing to pray for Ben and your family.

    Your card today is beautiful. I love the multiple layers created from die cuts. You have a special gift for doing this in very creative ways. Thank you for sharing this card.

    Blessings, SandraReplyCancel

  • Lynda Mellor aka Loopy Lynda UKNovember 6, 2015 - 5:01 pm

    Oh Becca, my heart goes out to you at this very difficult time. Yes it’s imperative that your wishes are made known. Keep your chin up kiddo. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
    Try to have a good one : )
    Loopy Lynda xxxReplyCancel

  • JeannineNovember 6, 2015 - 5:16 pm

    Dear Becka
    My family has experienced the same thing that your family is going through and we had to make some very hard decisions regarding my brother. My brother had downe syndrome but was quite smart and understood what was happening , He spent his life as a diabetic and dyalisis was now failing him. He was facing being hospitalized for the rest of his life , our family was equally divided as to what was best for him. He was the one who let the family know what his decision was and we respected his wishes. my Husband and I have written a living will and made our instructions very clear a to our wishes. Believe me when I say I never want my family to go through this experience again. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.ReplyCancel

  • Becky GreenNovember 6, 2015 - 5:20 pm

    SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CARD, BECCA! TOTALLY STUNNING! ;) I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. I’ll be praying for you & your family. I have let my husband know what my wishes are…it’s called a “living will.” If we don’t make those decisions, the government/doctors will, sadly & I’m SURE they wouldn’t be for our benefit. Sorry to say that, but it’s true. Hope you have a PEACEFUL WEEKEND!!!! ;)ReplyCancel

  • Colleen HowellNovember 6, 2015 - 5:25 pm

    This is one of my favorites I remembered it when I saw it. It is still gorgeous. It is hard to make those choices, both of my parents made sure we all knew their wishes, but when my mother passed (after my dad) one of my sisters still did not want to follow them she pushed my mom to do some things that she did not want to do but because she loved her daughter she did them, as the executor after my mom told me that she did not want to do them, I told her you made me promise that no matter what I would follow your wishes and do what you wanted so now you have to tell her that you are not going to do this any more or I can not help you. She did and my sister was very upset with her and me, so I know from experience that even with your wishes known that people in the family will not want to follow. It is a very hard thing to do for your loved ones, and Yes I have told mine as well. I hope that things get better for you and all your family and you will all be in my prayers!!!!ReplyCancel

  • janet goshornNovember 6, 2015 - 5:36 pm

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I work in the health care field and feel it is so important for families to have conversations about their wishes if they become critically ill. It is heartbreaking to see families struggle to make difficult decisions and even more heartbreaking when they are at odds about these decisions.ReplyCancel

  • Victoria LunaNovember 6, 2015 - 6:00 pm

    Oh Becca, my prayers are with Ben and your family. After going through cancer, I had a clear understanding of what I wanted to do. I have three small children and we do not have any family here. God will guide you to do what is best for him and will give you peace.
    Your card is so beautiful, and you are an inspiration because you keep going and you are showing us that even though you go through hard times, you are still open to others and you are giving your best to others through your gorgeous cards.ReplyCancel

  • Stephanie WNovember 6, 2015 - 6:24 pm

    I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this, Becca. What a tough position to be in. Yes, I have made my wishes known to my family and my husband has made his known to me. The kids know how we feel as well, so if it’s a case where they are making those types of decisions for both of us, then they know what we would like. They watched us go through having to make that decision for my dad. That opened up great doors for discussion. Dad had let me know what his wishes were and that made a difficult time easier.

    Hugs to you! (Beautiful card…as always)ReplyCancel

  • Yvonne NicholsonNovember 6, 2015 - 6:36 pm

    Becca I can’t begin to imagine what you and your family are going through. Yes I have told my family what I want done.Lovely card.ReplyCancel

  • MichelleNovember 6, 2015 - 6:56 pm

    Dear Becca, I know what you are going through. Being a senior citizen I felt it was important for my children to know my wishes when the time came. There is also a written statement to that fact. During a time of crisis I believe it is important to discuss this with other members of the family, it saves a lot of heartbreak for everyone, and everything is laid out as you want them to be, not what others want. I hope this helps you and your family is in my prayers.ReplyCancel

  • Tina EldridgeNovember 6, 2015 - 7:09 pm

    Becca. My thoughts are with you at this very sad and difficult time for you. I lost an older sister and a brother, but their children completely fulfilled their wishes. Not an easy thing to talk about but it does take the weight off of the family & friends that you leave behind, when they in turn start their new journey.

    My thoughts & prayers are with you Becca.

    Gentle Hugs Tina XReplyCancel

  • JudyNovember 6, 2015 - 7:11 pm

    Sending prayers to you and your family at such a difficult and heart breaking time.ReplyCancel

  • ShaneanNovember 6, 2015 - 7:25 pm

    Yes, I would let my love ones know what my health care wishes are and have. As they have as well. I believe it is something all families should do. It takes the burden of making difficult decisions at a trying time off of your love ones. Hopefully your love ones can find comfort in knowing they followed your wishes.ReplyCancel

  • GracielaNovember 6, 2015 - 7:35 pm

    I can imagine what you and your family are going through, since my husband’s family went through some difficult time, also. My husband and I have always spoken openly, what our wishes are. I, also have advised my mother (in-law) to do so, too….Not a popular topic, but it’s good to have it in the open, and clear, so when the time comes, the ones that have to make the decisions, know what to do and to prevent any family ‘problems’. My prayers go out to you and your family, wishing you lots of strength during these difficult moments.ReplyCancel

  • Pam TASNovember 6, 2015 - 7:40 pm

    Oh Becca so sad you have to go through this with your loved ones !
    I have been talking about a will etc for ages and have just kept putting
    It in the toooo hard basket this is my wake up call !!!
    I am promising to do it ASAP thank you .
    This card has always been one of my favourite.
    You need to take all the time you need we will always be here
    God Bless you all XXX.ReplyCancel

  • ChelseaNovember 6, 2015 - 8:37 pm

    Dearest Becca, thank you for the update on how Ben is doing and the concerns you and your family have as you go forward. It is so difficult now days, since medicine has outpaced the natural functions of our frail bodies. I certainly would make my wishes known to my loved ones and have the living will and advanced directive papers in place. But when that is not available it is so very hard to know what God would have you do for end of life issues. Very, very difficult.
    I’m keeping you in my prayers!! Love and hugs –ReplyCancel

  • Linda Van DyneNovember 6, 2015 - 8:39 pm

    Becca, my heart aches for you. I knew my mom’s wishes, and I still feel awful about having to carry out those wishes. It is still better than having no directions at all. Beautiful card.ReplyCancel

  • Lorrayne ingramNovember 6, 2015 - 8:44 pm

    Becca praying for you and your family to have great wisdom from above and discernment as you speak with Dr’s and medical staff.ReplyCancel

  • Myra from FloridaNovember 6, 2015 - 9:01 pm

    Becca, sometimes it takes another’s tragedy to wake someone else up. Maybe there is a blessing in disguise for someone else. Maybe a child given sight because they made this decision or a multitude of other things. There is always triumph from tragedy. It does seem you have had your share of stuff to deal with. I think you are great. What a sister you are. We are praying for you, and our only connection is our Savior and these wonderful things we create. I started making cards during a long illness when a friend took the time to send me a card she created. In turn, I was blessed as it started giving me another outlet as I couldn’t create cakes any longer. Keep us informed as you can. Our love and prayers to you and your familyReplyCancel

  • TammieNovember 6, 2015 - 9:09 pm

    Thanks for this serious challenge. It’s a tough one.

    Becca, we will continue to pray for your family.ReplyCancel

  • Lisa PosthumaNovember 6, 2015 - 11:21 pm

    Oh Becca this is my favorite card from you. I have made it several times for the senior widows in my church and they love it
    My family and my parents have all made our wishes known and we’ve all signed our donor cards. I hope we never have to use them but at least something good can from something terrible.
    If I were there I would put my arms around you and let just sit there for a while for my words are too simple for your pain.ReplyCancel

  • Marcie SmithNovember 6, 2015 - 11:54 pm

    Oh Becca, so very sorry to hear about your brother. The difficult decisions such as the one that you and your family are facing is so very hard, especially when the individual you are making choices for has not made his wishes known. And, when you get more then one or two family members together to make these decisions, there is always some who will disagree. I have made my wishes known and have drawn up a living trust so that my kids will not have to make any difficult decisions. I have made them for them. They just have to follow my wishes. Oh, and you never are to young to discuss this matter. I lost my 40 year old son this year, and truly had no idea what his wishes were. We had to make a best guess of what we thought he would prefer. No parent should out live their child. This has been a really tough year for us. Sending you and your family hugs and prayers, it is what got me through this year and know it will help you as well.

  • Nancy dalyNovember 7, 2015 - 1:06 am

    Hi Becca it must be so hard for your family my heart goes out to you at this sad time and you are in my prayers, for me at this time in my life I would just want to go and not suffer anymore but I know it must be very hard as you want to keep your loved ones with you as long as possible but if they are suffering it is best for them.
    This card is gorgeous.
    Nancyd xxReplyCancel

  • June SmithNovember 7, 2015 - 1:57 am

    Bekka my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time, I would say yes to sharing our wishes should anything like this happen.

    Stay safe, healthy and happy, hugs, June Smith xxxReplyCancel

  • MarilynYNovember 7, 2015 - 2:54 am

    Each new day is a gift and it’s how you receive it which makes the difference between good and bad. My heartfelt thoughts to your family. Yes, after years of caring for my mom and dad and, I’ve learned a lot and prepared for my eventual demise legally and everything else. That’s my gift to my family.ReplyCancel

  • Patricia HowarthNovember 7, 2015 - 3:05 am

    Hi Becca, This card is truly beautiful and I love how you have rotated the die-cuts, it looks fabulous.
    My heart is bursting for you and your family, our prayers are with you and yours. God will keep Ben in his nearer presence, and you will be guided by him in your difficult decisions. My heart goes out to you. To be honest I haven’t talked about anything to do with death, even though I have faith I find death scary to talk about, I know we should speak about it to our loved ones, and I pray that God will guide me and give me the strength to do it.
    My prayers are continually with you and Ben and all your Family. Miracles do happen !!
    Lots of love from Patricia xxReplyCancel

  • ElaineNovember 7, 2015 - 3:47 am

    Hi Becca
    What a gorgeous card and color used .
    I am still praying for you and your family at this difficult time, and yes i have made my wishes known to my own family.
    I remember in my younger days Praying for God to take first my lovely Dad and then my lovely Mum in his arms because i could not bear to see them suffer the pain any longer.
    God Bless you and yours Becca
    Elaine H XReplyCancel

  • Jennifer BackNovember 7, 2015 - 4:14 am

    My heart and prayers go out to you and your family Becca.
    And to Ben too.
    I once told my daughter that if anything ever happened to me, i did not want to be resuscitated. I could see that she was struggling with this, so spoke to her about it again sometime later, she made me understand how hard that would be having to tell the rest of the family, so have decided to make a living will that will take that onus from my loved ones.
    The card is beautiful Becca, just love all the little details.

    May the Lord bless you and keep you and give you His peace.ReplyCancel

  • Susan B.November 7, 2015 - 5:30 am

    Becca, my heart hurts for you and your family. I would make my wishes known to my family. I would not want them to have to go through what you and your family are right now. I will keep you all in my prayers.ReplyCancel

  • Peggy BNovember 7, 2015 - 8:42 am

    My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. You are a strong and brave woman.

    Due to an experience 9 years ago I have learned that letting your family know your wishes saves much heartache and anger when the time comes to make the tough discussions.ReplyCancel

  • BarbaraNovember 7, 2015 - 8:52 am

    As a senior who is also an R.N., I strongly believe that it is irresponsible to not have an advance directive (commonly called a living will). The anguish I have witnessed in countless families is not something you put your loved ones through. I am so sorry your family is being tasked with this, Becca.ReplyCancel

  • LESLEYNovember 7, 2015 - 10:46 am

    Just back from holiday in the US – so sorry to read of your brother, my sympathies for your dilemma. I have left my body to medical science, having been a blood donor for many years, and always carrying a donor card. My next of kin is aware of my wishes, and has a copy of all the details.

    Love today’s card, and yes, it has given me inspiration.ReplyCancel

  • Kay McBrfideNovember 7, 2015 - 11:08 am

    Dear Becca,
    So Sorry about your brother. It IS VERY DIFFICULT to make decisions about a loved ones quality of life. My answer to your question is YES MOST DEFINITELY, tell your family how you wish to live your life. Living Wills are really good for this. I have already discussed this with my sister and her famly. My father had done the same with me. Make your wishes known. Here in Texas I have difficulty making my primary doctor undestand my wishes, his response is you are so young. But you have to look at the whole picture. It is not about age it is about the quality of LIFE.
    Beautiful card take care.

  • Kathy mNovember 7, 2015 - 11:55 am

    My heart beaks for you and your family. I am in awe at your strength and ability to help others by sharing your life, and recommending a living will. You must have God’s grace with you to open yourself up to others at such a time of personal grief. God has blessed you.ReplyCancel

  • KathyNovember 7, 2015 - 2:55 pm

    Hello becca, we love any of your cards! Old or new doesn’t matter to us. My family knows my wishes, after my sister had to make that decision when her husband had a stroke suddenly..very hard watching him slip away and tears running down my sisters face. I feel for you and your family..hugs and prayers to all of you…ReplyCancel

  • Pat littlejohnsNovember 7, 2015 - 3:43 pm

    Dear,gentle Becca, my heart goes out to you and your close family. This is surely another very difficult period for you all and you must know that so many of us have you in our hearts and prayers at this time. God Bless and support you xReplyCancel

  • Lisa DugginNovember 7, 2015 - 4:27 pm

    Becca, so sorry to hear the news from the Dr’s. It is up to the Lord what happens now. We know that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. This means no more suffering, no more tears, no more problems for Ben like we have down here. I know it is hard for us to deal with even if there is a health care directive in place. My family knows very well what my wishes are. My husband however does not want to talk about it! Still praying for you and your family. Beautiful card as always. I have pinned it! Blessings always, LisaReplyCancel

  • Vicki RobeNovember 7, 2015 - 5:40 pm

    So sorry to hear about your family difficulties at the moment. They always say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but sometimes you do wonder with some decisions you have to make. My thoughts are with you.ReplyCancel

  • RosemaryNovember 7, 2015 - 7:18 pm

    My family does know my wishes I have told them many times and it is all written out as well as my husbands so that there are no decisions to be made by anyoneReplyCancel

  • RoemaryNovember 7, 2015 - 7:22 pm

    At my urgency to answer your question I forgot to say how sorry to hear that you and your family are going through such a difficult time.
    I can understand fully. My great grandson who is only 26 months old has brain cancer. It all seems so unfair such a young child to have to go through this. I have no told many people I find it difficult to speak about it to strangers. I guess that I just want to remain strong for the rest of the familyReplyCancel

    • LindaNovember 7, 2015 - 9:40 pm

      Prayers for you, for a child is the most difficult to bear. Be as strong as you can be for God will be with you.ReplyCancel

    • LynetteNovember 19, 2015 - 12:52 pm

      Linda, just a little note to say how sorry I am about your grandson, that is just tragic. Have you looked into alternative treatments? There is a page on
      Facebook called Cannabis cures cancer that has some very interesting stories. A friend of ours said his doctor told him you have to get the ph levels in the body balanced to fight cancer. Prayers to you and your family.ReplyCancel

  • LindaNovember 7, 2015 - 9:38 pm

    Becca: One of life’s many challenges is always the greatest to bear. My heart emphasizes with you for there is no right or wrong, just the best decision for the person before you. Ask God to guide you and assist you through the process. Prayers are sent to God on your behalf for peace and acceptance.
    Much love

  • DeniceNovember 8, 2015 - 8:56 am

    Sweet family ….

    Remember, if a person is right with Jesus, death is not a bad thing. It is just going home. It means no more dealing with the pain, suffering , trials and tribulations of this earth. My prayers are with you and my heart feels your pain. May God grant you all peace and comfort. Very Sincerely, Denice (Also a child of God).ReplyCancel

  • Paula FullerNovember 8, 2015 - 2:50 pm

    I believe it is always best to make your wishes known. It is much more merciful to your loved ones to have those desires and plans laid out ahead of time. I have been faced with making such difficult decisions on more than one occasion, and fortunately I knew how to proceed, and it was made easier to have the support of family.

    My best wishes to you and your family in this difficult time.ReplyCancel

  • Cathy HomanNovember 8, 2015 - 7:42 pm

    Prayers for you and your family during this heartbreaking time.ReplyCancel

  • SorayaNovember 9, 2015 - 5:21 am

    You’re advise is very worthy. I’m I’ll and I already talk with my husband and my older child about what to do in case of a worst case scenario. It’s hard and they may tried to stop you, but it must be done.

    My prayers are with your brother and you.

    Chin up.ReplyCancel

  • Joy MossNovember 9, 2015 - 6:08 am

    My husband is retired military. Because of his job as a helicopter pilot, we have had medical power of attorneys, living wills, general wills, general power of attorneys, and guardianship papers for our children since we got married. We have updated these regularly as children grow older and his jobs changed. Our children (now in their 30s) are made aware of our wishes if we are seriously injured, have a life threatening illness, or other long term medical issues. When they were younger, their designated legal guardians (in case of our deaths), were also informed of our wishes regarding the children. It’s hard enough watching a loved one in the process of dying. I experienced this with my father and father-in-law. But to have to make those decisions while under such great stress is unnecessary. Make your wishes known through legal documents, please, and have those talks with adult children. That way the agony of those decisions is lessened by the words “those are her/his wishes.”ReplyCancel

  • NoeleneNovember 11, 2015 - 4:32 am

    Hi Becca,
    Another beautiful card.
    My hugs & prayers to you, Ben & your family. May God be with you during this trying time.
    Noelene xReplyCancel

  • KatherineNovember 11, 2015 - 10:45 am

    Becca, I am so sorry for the decision that you & family are having to make and the news you have received. It is never easy facing the future with an illness that can’t be a good outcome. I pray that God will give each of you comfort during this time.

    I feel it is best to make your wishes known to your family in advance.I will keep you and your family in my prays.

    May you feel Gods peace and love at this time.ReplyCancel

  • LindaNovember 11, 2015 - 6:45 pm

    Gob Bless you and your family during this difficult time and always.ReplyCancel

  • linda boyceNovember 12, 2015 - 10:55 am

    Hi Becca such a sad and lovely card so sorry to hear about Ben please keep strong and trust in god . l would tell my family that l don,t wont to live if nothing can be done and not to be sad as life is short be can be so good hugs lindaReplyCancel

  • Jacquie JacobsNovember 12, 2015 - 11:03 am

    Hi Becca,

    Firstly I apologize profoundly for my absence yet again.

    Secondly and most importantly my prayers are with you and your family especially Ben, I do hope he is able to make a recovery.

    In answer to your question yes I would certainly and have told the family of my health care wishes, I have also told them that if any of my children were ever on life support I would never have it switched off, I would fight tooth and nail to keep it on, we have read so many times of people recovering even after 3 years, only God would know how the body really is, it needs time to heal, to recover. Of course I am not saying this is what your family must do, please don’t think that, my thoughts are with you at such a very hard time, I can only imagine what you are going through. I know it is hard for some people to discuss these matters with their families so to that I would say write it down in a letter that could be opened should anything happen, that may make it easier.

    I do hope you and your family find a solution and you are all in my prayers.

    Fabulous cards as always Becca.

    Love & hugs

    Jacquie J xxx

  • Karen LeasNovember 12, 2015 - 7:51 pm

    After working in hospice for a number of years and seeing everything that patients and family goes thru;I have made my wishes known to my husband, children and parents. It’s unfortunate and hard to do but a very necessary part of life.ReplyCancel

  • LisaNovember 13, 2015 - 10:07 pm

    Dear Becca,
    It’s now Friday the 13th and you haven’t posted so I’m going to assume that your brother has gone to be with the Lord.
    I’m thinking about you and your family and pray that you’ll feel Gods arms around you as you grieveReplyCancel

  • Anita BraddockNovember 14, 2015 - 11:10 am

    yes I have said I dont want to live on machines if there is no hope of living its hard to make that comment but then with my Dad an brother passing it had to be made nether wanted to live on machines.ReplyCancel

  • KathyNovember 14, 2015 - 7:06 pm

    Becca…worried that something has happened with Ben ….as we didn’t hear from you this week….please know all your readers care so much about you and your family and continue to uplift all in prayers….blessingsReplyCancel

  • KitNovember 14, 2015 - 8:38 pm

    Sorry to hear of the difficult decisions that your family has faced in the last week or so. While I think it’s best to make your wishes known to loved ones, it can be difficult for them to follow when revealed if not discussed in detail prior to anything happening. It’s not something one wishes to talk about but definitely useful and helpful if one is brave enough to tackle.ReplyCancel

  • Ann LindNovember 15, 2015 - 12:37 pm

    Becca I have been checking every day for more news. You are so open, kind and generous sharing your amazing talent that I am sure I speak for many of us who feel you are a treasured friend. Our prayers are with you Ben and your family during this difficult time hugs AnnReplyCancel

  • Maureen KNovember 15, 2015 - 12:59 pm

    Hello Becca,
    I have been popping in daily to see if there is any news, and I am praying for Ben and your whole family. I do hope that no news is good news.
    Love and prayerss
    Maureen xxxReplyCancel

  • VioletNovember 15, 2015 - 9:18 pm

    So sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. May God give you and your family strength and wisdom to do what you have to do. Blessing to you and yours.ReplyCancel

  • JennyNovember 16, 2015 - 2:49 am

    Hi Becca, i’ve popped in every day to seek news of Ben and to see how you are. I’m going to assume that Ben has gone to be with the Lord. I shall continue to pray for you family but i know that the Lord has sent his Comforter to you, to bathe you in his love.ReplyCancel

  • CarmenNovember 16, 2015 - 9:13 pm

    Just letting you know you are in my thoughts and prayers Becca.ReplyCancel

  • Carol H.November 17, 2015 - 8:11 pm

    Awww, so sorry for the difficult choices. I somehow missed this post and hope the journey with your brother and his life has come to peaceful resolution.

    My mother contracted West Nile Virus in 2012 and 5 weeks later passed from it. We thought she had her wishes stated, but the details were missing. So yes, I hope that my wishes when I’m waiting to go into our Savior’s arms are very clear to my loved ones.

    Prayers to you and your family for strength in this time. You are never alone, He is with us always.ReplyCancel

  • Kathy mNovember 18, 2015 - 11:26 pm

    Saying a prayer for you, you brother and your family.ReplyCancel

  • Yvonne NicholsonNovember 19, 2015 - 8:29 am

    Hi Becca,
    Been checking in to see if any news on Ben, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Be strong.
    Love Yvonne N.ReplyCancel

  • Marilyn ClarkNovember 19, 2015 - 12:33 pm

    Praying for Ben and you and your family. God bless.ReplyCancel