A Mothers Prayer

WR-AMPHi there friends, just a reminder that you have until sometime on Monday to leave a comment on this post ———> The Lost Art of the Written Word from July 3rd in order to pick a card from my stash.  In my post I have soft rant about how the written word is falling to the wayside and it’s my hope that you’ll have a card to send on to someone else or for your own memory box.

I’ve been tied up this week but I didn’t tell you what I was doing . . . I moved my youngest daughter 10 hours away to a big city.   Yikes!!  She was not home much because she worked and went to school but I know that it will be different being on my own – in my empty nest.  I feel like superwoman because I towed her car and belongings all the way and helped her get situated, plying her with non-stop motherly advice the entire week.

We are from a small town – I guess I didn’t realize how small.  There’s no interstate freeway where I live and you’re lucky if you can cruise 45 miles an hour on a drive anywhere.   I basically had to teach my sweet girl how to drive on the interstate and even she thought 70 miles an hour was fast.

Just the facts . . . it was sooooo hard! Tears, hard!  Clinched fists in the air, hard!  Physically and mentally, hard!  But I did it!!  These are the days that I know John would be smiling down but I have to admit that I got emotional because this is one of the things I dreamed of doing with him and I still can’t fathom that I managed to do it without him.  This is the point that some of my acquaintances would roll their eyes and not say a word because yes, it has been 3 and a half years (cringe – I’m sorry).  This is especially for those of you who email me and ask me to tell more about my life and journey through grief :-).   That’s what I love about you all!!   I hope you’ll indulge me just long enough to say that (oh, yes) I still acknowledge (sneaky) grief but I’m strong enough to tip my hat and continue on :-)

Blogging is like journalling – whew, a little bit of ‘that’ weight is gone.  After a week of being a natural worry wart I found this pin on Pinterest that cracked me up and just about sums up the past week.  I have to leave a small disclaimer because it may not be my language but it definitely reflects some of the zillion thoughts that have gone through my mind during this adventure.

Thanks so much for the lovely thoughts you’ve left with me this week.  Even though you didn’t know it, they’ve helped me get through it all!  Take care sweeties, I’ll be back soon!!



  • Norma KratzJuly 5, 2014 - 3:19 pm

    Becca, You have no idea how you have inspired me thru the years. I can’t believe it has been 4 1/2 years since you lost John. I lost my husband 17 years ago and still yearn for him, we never get over it but we get thru it and our spouse’s would like for us to go on. I did, re-married and married my school chum and that is what Jim wanted. My current husband knew him and loved him as I did and still do which does make it easier because he knows I still miss my late husband. I will keep you in my prayers and stay strong. God will help you and God Bless you.ReplyCancel

  • MaryannJuly 5, 2014 - 3:30 pm

    Oh boy, I know just how you feel, as I were there few years ago. There´s something final about it, when you send the last one of, isn´t it? But thanks god, then it almost always goes just fine, as I know, you´ll soon find out too, cause thanks god, they´ve actually learned sooo much more from us, than we ever believed, before they left, so even they a million times told us to stoip, they knew what they were doing, and we kept worrying, then they really do, when they have to, and if they finally run into something, they also know, who to call then, I can asure you. My babygirl moved and got married 10 years ago, and even today she still calls me at least twice a week to ask me something up to this day. They went to Germany for a vacation yesterday and drove all the way with their girls, and today when they arrived on the place, guess who she called on a cellphone as soon as they landed, so I can asure you, as soon as she gets seettled in, you´ll probably see and hear more from her, than you did, when she stayed home. Best of luck to you sweet lady with all the changes in your life, but don´t worry, new doors will open now, and you´ll soon know, I´m right. Have a wonderful week-end and take good care of you now.ReplyCancel

  • Pat JandacekJuly 5, 2014 - 3:36 pm

    I find it’s taking a long time to find ‘just me.’ It’s been 2 years of widowhood after 39 years of togetherness – habits and patterns and desires of oneself take a slow time to discover and accept. The happiness of knowing I was loved will never leave me, and I’ll be forever thankful.ReplyCancel

  • vivacehJuly 5, 2014 - 3:37 pm

    I love this Becca! My sentiments exactly.ReplyCancel

  • JoniJuly 5, 2014 - 3:52 pm

    I love this from Tina Fey…reported it on my FB page this year. The empty nest thing is hard. We have taken a different journey than most..our two adopted kiddos were finally diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder about five years ago, and our oldest just finished high school, with another 3 year transition program in front of him. Our daughter is 17 and hasn’t been able to safely live at home for about 20 months now, and we don’t know that she will ever be back home. I’ve begun converting her bedroom into the Mom Cave…full of my crafting business. It is good because I can create and feel close to her…and hard because of the grief. We do what we do…you have been a awesome mom and I’m sorry this week has been so full of the grief of her leaving AND having to do that without John. May your heart continue to find its way toward healing and peace. Thank you for sharing that part of your journey with us.ReplyCancel

  • RaquelJuly 5, 2014 - 3:58 pm

    My friend Becca–I hear your cry and feel your tears and fears… this is such a hard journey but remember all you have done and taught as a Mother. You are special and so is your daughter. Angels from the left, right and all sides will help and guide her. She will remember your words of wisdom that you have said so many times. That is a Mother. I lost my Mother in March she was 99 years old and till this day I do not forget all she taught me. May you find comfort and may your faith grow each day–and your daughter as well. I know what you are feeling as a Mother and Daughter. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers. God be with you and your precious jewel–your Daughter.ReplyCancel

  • Lynn HardyJuly 5, 2014 - 4:02 pm

    Although we’ve never met I feel such a bond with you! It’s amazing what we can achieve as mothers when we have too! Your daughter will appreciate you even more now that she has left home – and you will only ever be a short phone call away! My own daughter left to go to University this year and I missed her like mad, but we soon found that Skype was our new best friend and it’s lovely to be able to see her when we “phone” each other. She’s back home for the summer and we seem closer than ever :)

    Thank you for the poem – I shall share it with my daughter too. Much love to you Becca. xReplyCancel

  • Mary H.July 5, 2014 - 4:05 pm

    Becca, loved the Mother’s Prayer. So much truth, and done so amusingly too. Don’t apologize for your moments of recurring grief. That happens, and you get through it, stronger I’m sure. But it’s earned & you have that when you love. I can sympathesize with the empty nest. Oh is it so hard. But it’s what we raised them up to be able to do, hopefully remembering all the values they were taught in a loving home. You may be lonely for a bit, at times. You will find your way. You have so many interests to occupy you, and so many people in Blogland when you’re ready to share with us. I know you’re a strong lady, with large faith….You’ll never REALLY be alone, but sometimes it just feels lonely. Do what you have to do to ease your heart, and big hugs coming your way. Blessings.ReplyCancel

  • DebraJuly 5, 2014 - 4:08 pm

    So glad you posted the poem by Tina Fey. I found that on Pinterest awhile ago and I’m sure most moms can find familiarity in it. I feel so bad that you moved your daughter by yourself. That’s quite a feat and I’m not sure I could have done that. I think you will always feel some sense of grief and loss, particularly at key moments when you thought you and John would be doing things together. Keep in mind what you’ve accomplished already and proven yourself to be very strong when you have to be! Hugs!!ReplyCancel

  • MickieJuly 5, 2014 - 4:12 pm

    You are such a beautiful person! I lost Bruce almost three years ago and am going through a situation that I so wish he was here to help me with. So I know where you are coming from.ReplyCancel

  • SheriJuly 5, 2014 - 4:16 pm

    Good for you! I know how you are feeling and I wish I were that far down the road but sad that the pain continues. This is the worse pain I have ever felt. I lost the love of my life in April. He was a sick sick man and I would not wish him back like he was but oh to have him back healthy. I would give anything to have him back well.ReplyCancel

  • ChelseaJuly 5, 2014 - 4:18 pm

    Big hugs of love to you, Becca!! You are amazing, awesome, and a force of nature.ReplyCancel

  • GraciellieJuly 5, 2014 - 4:22 pm

    My goodness this is just hillarious, but oh so true!

    Grief is always there in the back or sometimes a little closer to the middle of your mind and heart. It’s only natural that you’ve had to deal with this feelings during this changing times for you and your daughter. For me it’s been almost 3 years since my father passed away and this feeling just doesn’t go away, and some may not understand. Still that inner strength makes us keep going together with the renewal of our Lord’s mercy every single morning…

    Big hug!ReplyCancel

  • Marjorie ShannenJuly 5, 2014 - 4:23 pm

    Blessings to you Becca for Today, Tomorrow and Always.ReplyCancel

  • Maureen KillenJuly 5, 2014 - 4:25 pm

    Dear Becca,
    I admire you so much. I have been married 48 years this year and do not know what I would do without my husband – get on with it I suppose.

    God blessed me with only one child and when she got married 21 years ago I was so lost and cried buckets because I was not “needed” any more. Although they lived only 5 minutes walk away I didn’t visit them because I didn’t want to intrude. We kept in touch by phone and then she rang and asked me to please go because she wasn’t well and wanted me there. Oh joy of joys – I was needed.

    Well, they gave me two beautiful granddaughters who are now 8 and 10 (my daughter had some problems, like me) and we see them every day. We get them to school and from school until their parents come home from work.

    My daughter is now 45 years old, and I remember when she was about 23 she said it was amazing how much I’d learnt since she was about 14!! Then she apologised for being such a brat during her teenage years!

    As I said at the beginning, I admire you immensely to do all that you do on your own – and 3 and a half years is not a long time.

    Much love and God Bless xxxReplyCancel

  • ElaineJuly 5, 2014 - 4:43 pm

    God bless you and your family Becca , today and always x

    Elaine H XReplyCancel

  • Marcie SmithJuly 5, 2014 - 4:44 pm

    Hugs, kisses and prayers to your strength Becca. I know how difficult it must have been for you. But, I also know that John is up there looking down and smiling. If it is any consolation, it is hard no matter what. There are some positives as well – you have no one to make decisions for and no one to answer to for all those day to day things. You will definitely enjoy visits more as you will do the enjoyable things together, rather then the need to get done before they go home type of things. And, now you can actually make that spare room into a guest room without feeling guilty. LOL Enjoy your new found freedom as you can be assured that they are only as far as a phone call away, and they are never really totally gone and will always return home even if it is only for a visit.

  • Anne (UK)July 5, 2014 - 4:50 pm

    What an amazing Mum you are! How brave of you to do all that you have these last 3 and a half years. I’m certain John would be so proud.
    What a heart wrench for you though. Skype or Face Time will be your friends. I pray that your daughter will soon settle and that your home will be filled with sweet memories.
    Anne (UK) xReplyCancel

  • pocasheJuly 5, 2014 - 5:06 pm

    I remember the day we dropped our son (the youngest child) at college. He vowed that he wouldn’t ever need to live at home again and told us to use his bedroom for something else. Our daughter had left for college two years earlier. We were now empty nesters and IT WAS HARD! I had a hard time remembering who I was, I had been mom for a long time. I worried that my spouse and I wouldn’t be able to relate because we hadn’t had too many private conversations in 18 years. I cried (with my daughter( for 4 1/2 hours on the trip home. Well, they’re both married now and have given us wonderful grandchildren. The phases all come and go. Just enjoy them while you can and look forward to the next one.ReplyCancel

  • EffieJuly 5, 2014 - 5:09 pm

    ok, my rant. My son and daughter moved to Texas from Michigan on July 13 and I MISS THEM SO MUCH I walked around the car as they prepared to leave praying, praying, praying! when the tears started I stepped aside and let them leave! I have done NO crafting since they left (gotta get back to that soon) so….I get it. they have never been this far from me. the last six years not more than a five minute car ride. one daughter left in Mich.who surprised me and said she wants to got to church tomorrow, so thats good (hasnt been in 3-4 years) I missed the last two sundays so this will get me back on track! double blessing. thanks for listening!

  • EffieJuly 5, 2014 - 5:19 pm

    sorry, thanks for the poem-love it!ReplyCancel

  • Judy BJuly 5, 2014 - 5:25 pm

    Grief knows no time limit Bekka and for me this is the 1st time I have seen your story. Never apologize for missing someone, for we’ll all have to go through it someday. I enjoyed Tina’s little “rant” as I always enjoy your cards and your thoughts. Thanks for sharing both.ReplyCancel

  • Kelly FlahertyJuly 5, 2014 - 5:29 pm

    Dearest Becca, No words from any friend or family member will ever make the loss of your husband less painful. Their words will not shorten the length of time for the hurt to diminish even slightly. Although their love, and hugs and tears and company will allow you moments of sweetness, your eyes still see John all around you, you hear his voice in the strangest of places, and you smell his scent when you least expect it.
    I did not lose my husband, but I did lose my father, the man I most looked up to, my hero and my friend. He died painfully in 1997 and each day I awake I thank my Lord for the forty years He shared my father with me. But, if I allow myself too much time reflecting on that time, it still becomes very painful. Yes, there are more times of good memories than bad, but when you are blessed to spend years with a person that changes the lives of everyone around them, it is hard to let go.
    I agree that John watches over you and the children and yes he smiles. I’m sure he brags to everyone that will listen that he is so proud of you and what you have accomplished since he was called to go home. I added your name to my list of prayers a while ago and I pray that contentment and peace will continue to surround you.
    Hugs, hugs, and love,
    Kelly FlahertyReplyCancel

  • DesireeJuly 5, 2014 - 5:32 pm

    I was going to say the same thing about grief as Judy! Lol. It has no boundaries and I believe no real end….I think you just get better at living beyond. My mom died 12 years ago and sometimes I still miss her and I cry. Not everyday, but sometimes. My own children (that she never got to see) will do something and I’ll think about calling her…or sharing it with her and she’s gone. The reflex to call her is still there. :-( So, 3 1/2 years is just a blink.

    And I am proud for you as well for helping your youngest move. What an accomplishment! I wish her and you well. May blessings be in her future!ReplyCancel

  • Stephanie WJuly 5, 2014 - 6:04 pm

    Letting your children leave the nest is HARD. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Yes, you’re happy they are happy and you want them to have a life of your own but it’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that a whole era of your life is over. Ugh! A thought on grief sneaking up on you at times….my mom passed away 16 years before my day. One of the worst things you could say to my dad until the day he died was, “oh, it’s been {X amount of time} so you’re over it now.” He would say, “I’ll NEVER be over it. Yes, I go on but I’ll never be over it.” For Dad, Mom had just gone ahead and was waiting on him to arrive in Heaven. Sorta like when she waited for him to come back from overseas during WWII. Thanks so much for your transparency as well as your creative inspiration. {{Hugs}} on making it through such a hard week.ReplyCancel

  • Lizzie from Titahi Bay, NZJuly 5, 2014 - 6:09 pm

    When my daughter, youngest of my two children, left home for the first time it was heartbreaking. I was so proud of her achievements, and with her degree safely behind her she embarked on post-graduate studies on the other side of the world. Europe is not only a very long way from New Zealand, but her day would be our night, emails would be so very important to keep in touch. She was going flatting in a strange country when she hadn’t done that here. Halfway through her year we visited her. She had blossomed into this beautiful, self-confident person who was making her own way in a very different world to what I had grown up in. Elizabeth returned to complete her Ph,D back home. She now lives in another country just a few hours flight away with her beautiful family, and a very successful career. Becca, I am thankful we are not able to see what is ahead of us, but it is OK to look ahead and give thanks for the opportunities our children are blessed with, and take comfort in that we have helped to make that possible for them. God bless.ReplyCancel

  • CandyJuly 5, 2014 - 6:11 pm

    I share tears and hugs with you!ReplyCancel

  • Diana GoemannJuly 5, 2014 - 6:14 pm

    You are strong, and you’ve made another milestone. Blessings to you.ReplyCancel

  • Dorothy HarrsionJuly 5, 2014 - 6:41 pm

    Grief is our way of remembering, and it should never be something we say “you should be over it”. The scars form and we learn to live without them. but every once in awhile the scar still hurts…. I am glad you were able to help your daughter, to be strong for her, to give her advise, to be there and love her. Girls need their mothers all their lives – and every day you teach her is a day she will be stronger, more resilient, and make better choices in her life. Good for you Becca! Now the hard part – learning to live on your own…. 8-)ReplyCancel

  • Lisa DugginJuly 5, 2014 - 6:59 pm

    Don’t tell your daughter but now you can have another craft room! Just kidding. She will do great things becuse you trained her up in the way she should go. It is all we parents can do. We must leave the rest to God. Hugs right back at you. Blessings, LisaReplyCancel

  • Clare CurcioJuly 5, 2014 - 7:18 pm

    I agree with what you said about everything. And I agree with Tina Fey about “No Tattoos”! My daughter is 33, and has three, and just today she got the big one on her back “fixed”. She didn’t tell me about it, but texted her brother while I was there visiting him. I wish she trusted me enough to tell me these things. I guess she’s afraid I’ll get mad, or it’s just none of my business, now that she’s 33. I don’t know if she’d even answer me if I asked her. She is moving to South Carolina with her new husband and two sons. I will miss them terribly.

    I’m so glad to have found your blog site! Your work is amazing!ReplyCancel

  • Carol H.July 5, 2014 - 7:48 pm

    Oh my I feel your pain. I cried for probably 12 hours after we dropped the oldest daughter at college–12 hours away in Georgia. Hmmm, 1 hour of crying for each hour it took to drive–hadn’t thought of that till now. 2nd daughter, 2 hours away–6 hours of crying.

    Don’t ever apologize for showing your grief–even 3-½ years later. Just shows what a strong bond and amazing love y’all must have had. My biggest loss has been my mother. Two years ago in September to West Nile Virus. 77 years old was too soon for us. Still have very strong moments where I feel the loss as if it was yesterday.

    Take heart about the empty nest. I always treasure having the girls home. They went to college in 2005 & 2008. I cry a few tears when they leave now, but then I can get back to being crafty! Haha! It does get better!

    Thank you for all you share with us!ReplyCancel

  • Maxine DJuly 5, 2014 - 8:32 pm

    Love love love that ‘prayer’ – as you say not your language(or mine) in parts , but the sentiments are there.
    Grief is a life long journey – you learn to live with it, not ‘get over’ it, so if you need to share, do so.
    Blessings for being able to let your youngest move on in life – you are one strong Mama.

  • Norma EikenberryJuly 5, 2014 - 8:37 pm

    I firmly believe in the written word. You can write what truly is in your heart and say things that you might not have the heart to say out loud. When my children were at home I used to write them notes and tell them how much I loved them, what I expected of them etc. Then I would say keep this note and reread it if you do not feel loved. Several of them did save their notes and did reread them. It is so hard when they move away from home some distance from you. Hang in there BeccaReplyCancel

  • Patsy EcclesJuly 5, 2014 - 8:41 pm

    I just returned from a trip taken for the purpose of researching my roots and unknown family. I was struck with the realization of how valuable and treasured the letters and signatures on documents are and how little of this is going to be available in the future. The sweet texts my daughter and I sent back and forth during this trip as I uncovered historic details are already gone. Sweet sentiments of how much we love each other and funny stories that we share will not be read by future generations. How will they ever know about how wonderful and close my daughter’s relationship with me is and how many of my traits she has? The written word and photo is a genealogist’s best tool. Keep those cards and letters going!ReplyCancel

  • LindaJuly 5, 2014 - 10:59 pm

    You are an amazing woman and you inspire so many of us!ReplyCancel

  • MildredJuly 5, 2014 - 11:40 pm

    Hang in there, Becca. Unlike grief, a child leaving home does get better because they phone, text (probably do not write!), email and best of all, visit. The visits are all too short but oh so wonderful.ReplyCancel

  • Janet CastleJuly 5, 2014 - 11:48 pm

    Prayers for comfort to adjust to your empty nest coming your way!

  • Marilyn in E-TownJuly 6, 2014 - 12:06 am

    First off sending hugs and prays for you, as you are always touching our lives with your beautiful cards, which I consider a piece of art work.
    I can’t even imagine losing my soul mate, I do know losing my parents has been the hardest thing to handle in my life, I cherish every memory I have.
    I to just love a good ole written note, I am sending a hand made card once a week with a note to a wonderful church family whose little 6 yr old was just diagnosed with Leukemia and is in Seattle’s Children Hospital.
    Nothing better than a hand written note to make you feel loved and cared for!!!!
    Oh how I would love to have pick of one of your cards, what a treasure that would be!!!
    May you continue to Blessed by Gods grace.ReplyCancel

  • Clare WJuly 6, 2014 - 12:24 am

    Amazing bows, amazing cards, and amazing Becca. You are truly an inspiration – if more folks were just a little bit like you, the world would be a much nicer place me thinks.ReplyCancel

  • LaceladyJuly 6, 2014 - 3:02 am

    Love the Mother’s Prayer, I found it extremely hard when my Daughter, her Husband and my only grandson moved from the UK to Ireland. It could have been Timbuktu as far as I was concerned – as we weren’t likely to be able to visit more than once a year.

    Now, I live just 15 mins from them and their two ‘made in Ireland’ daughters, as I’ve come to live in Ireland too. Just goes to show you never know what your future holds.ReplyCancel

  • June MetcalfejaymetJuly 6, 2014 - 4:04 am

    Becca, you are an inspiration to all. When I left an abusive relationship after many years, I took very little of material things, but I took your saying of ‘something good is just around the corner’. It’s been almost a year now, and those words are still with me, and have proved true so many times during that short time. JuneReplyCancel

  • margaret driscoll UKJuly 6, 2014 - 5:40 am

    Hello Dear Becca!
    I can feel how much you still miss John, and you always will !
    Mine preferred someone else, and wanted to leave me ……yours didn’t, the pain I felt was intense…… yours is more than that!
    Its so hard being mother, and father, to our children ….I hope you continue to be strong Becca !
    My daughter is in Australia I haven’t seen her for 6 years and I still miss her and my grand daughter whom I haven’t met.
    Thank goodness we have crafting to ease our minds for a while !
    Take care Becca
    Thinking of you
    Love MargReplyCancel

  • Maureen KillenJuly 6, 2014 - 6:14 am

    Good morning Becca,
    I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you today. I only found your blog this year (my daughter and son in law got me my first laptop for last Christmas as I hadn’t used a computer before – don’t know if I’ve already told you this), so I didn’t realise the great loss you had endured until yesterday.
    May God keep you in his care, and I’m sure John is in the arms of the Angels awaiting the day when you will join him.
    Also, if you let your children fly, they will eventually fly back to you.
    God Bless, and love to you and your followers who have also felt a great loss xxReplyCancel

  • Karen A.July 6, 2014 - 6:21 am

    Thank you for sharing your most precious thoughts and feelings. I am amazed by your strength and courage. Blessings to you as you begin this empty nest journey.ReplyCancel

  • Cyndee ScholetJuly 6, 2014 - 8:08 am

    Hi Becca,
    Yes, it IS hard to let our daughters go. I bet if John was
    there he might tell you to chill out and not worry so much, like my husband does. Even though I’m not a worrier. In fact, I think I’m pretty brave. I didn’t have a meltdown when my daughter traveled in South America (after her semester and her summer studying in Peru, Argentina and Brazil and a volunteer program in Ecuador). Not even when she went to Colombia, Venezuela BY HERSELF! Mind you, this was just after the movie TAKEN, where Liam Neeson’s daughter gets kidnapped in the movie by a drug/sex ring. But, I think a mother is always thinking about and handling more details when it comes to life and to their kids than their husbands….in most cases…. Had to throw a disclaimer in there.

    Anyway…about the written word….. I ALWAYS made sure my kids hand wrote their thank you notes over the years and I’m proud about how cooperative they were about it. Although my son has slacked off a bit now that he is in the Air Force and living on his own. Mom’s not over his shoulder to make sure it gets done, so there is not much I can do.

    I went to a wedding two weeks ago and they passed out printed “Thank you for coming” cards and I have a feeling that that may be the only thank you I will receive. I think that is a terrible shame that it has become socially acceptable to be that lazy when acknowledging wedding gifts.ReplyCancel

  • Jan LtcJuly 6, 2014 - 8:55 am

    Hi Rebecca what a super post thanks for sharing and making me smile. I don’t have any daughters but we are blessed with 5 Granddaughter’s no 6 is due in October. Our eldest is 11 and off to comp in September she is the same height as me 5″ ! and takes a size 6 shoe so in a blink of an eye we will be in the same situation. Life flies by so quickly.
    I always think it’s a good job we don’t know what life has in store for us and we can only do our best and treat other’s as we would like to be treat.
    God Bless you in this new faze of your life and I hope you find contentment.
    Hugs JanReplyCancel

  • Tina CovingtonJuly 6, 2014 - 9:12 am

    Becca, I don’t have children except by marriage and being a godmother but I do have close friends who have gone through similar experiences. And so, I want to say to you … you did good! Oh, and one more thing … don’t ever let anyone roll their eyes at you for feeling grief or sadness. Everyone handles this differently. The truth is it is okay to feel it now or anytime in the future. The important part is that this has shown you that you can do the little things and the huge things and be okay! Prayers and hugs to you!ReplyCancel

  • Jacquie JacobsJuly 6, 2014 - 10:31 am

    Hi Becca,

    BIG cheers for you, I applaud you my friend, not many people could do what you have done for your sweet girl, I am sure she appreciates it. So young to have lost your husband, it brings to mind one of my favourite poems from the film Truly, Madly, Deeply. I loved the poem so much I made a cross stitch out of it, in fact I posted it on my blog only last Friday. It goes:

    Forgive me if you are not living,
    If you beloved, my love,
    If you have died,
    All the leaves will fall on my breasts
    It will rain on my soul all night, all day,
    My feet will want to march to where you are sleeping,
    But I shall go on living.

    I hope you don’t mind me sharing this with you and if people roll their eyes at you roll them back, they are not worth it.

    Love & prayers are with you.

    Love & Hugs

    Jacquie J xxx

  • RebekkaJuly 6, 2014 - 12:13 pm

    Great post Becca. I have children, they are all grown, and I still worry and pray for them daily,.ReplyCancel

  • Patricia HowarthJuly 6, 2014 - 1:07 pm

    Hi Becca, What a week it must have been for you, you must have been through every emotion going, I really ‘feel’ for you. You have brought up your youngest Daughter to the best of your ability, and have provided her with a solid platform from which to venture into the world on her own, she knows that you will always be there for her, no matter what !!
    I lost my eldest and youngest Sons many years ago, the eldest was 21 and the youngest 23, that was in 1987 and 1994 respectively, and it still hurts to this day, and I sometimes wonder what they would have been like and how they would have turned out.
    Take heart from the fact that you can still speak to your Daughter, and see her when you can, and offer Motherly advice when she wants it. She will be your Daughter for the rest of her life, and you will love her for the rest of yours.
    Take care.
    Lots of love from Patricia xxReplyCancel

  • Norah McPheeJuly 6, 2014 - 1:25 pm

    Dearest Becca,
    John is smiling down upon you, you just can’t see him anymore, but he is there at all the bits that you need him most to give you that strength and courage to carry on.
    Sorry flower, i just felt that you need to know that he will always be at your side, to walk with you. True love transends even death, my flower and i hope that one day you will find this out for yourself.
    Take care dear lady,
    sending big crafty hugs and love across the big pond
    Norah (Glenochil, Scotland)ReplyCancel

  • CaroleJuly 6, 2014 - 1:43 pm

    For me, it is more difficult adjusting to the fact that they are living their lives without me in them 24/7! OK, I raised them, I sent them off, I packed up their things, and watched them walk down the isle. Wow! Good for me.
    Whoa is me, they operate very well without me now. Sure they come home to visit, bring their babies over for us to take care of while they go about their business, but it’s hard not to want them asking me, bugging me, and demanding of me! As I age, they are taking over my job at care-giving (as I did it for my parents), and I need to age gracefully as they still have to learn from me in doing these things. Life and it cycles continue on under God’s directions.ReplyCancel

  • Anita BraddockJuly 6, 2014 - 2:30 pm

    I have had 2 kids move out and then One moved back in because she couldn’t do it plus being Pregnant. then after one year our son moved back in our last kid is also home. so our house is a full house and also with our almost 2yr. old Granddaughter and we are 53 years old and its tough
    . but we are doing it. because we love each one.ReplyCancel

  • Terri WJuly 6, 2014 - 2:50 pm

    Wow that took courage Becca! My son lives 5 miles away and I miss him every single day I don’t see him. And he is 31 lol.
    I am sure John was watching over you smiling at how brave you were being for your daughter.
    Now it is time for you to have some fun being an empty nester ;)ReplyCancel

  • Marlene IacuzziJuly 6, 2014 - 4:56 pm

    Thank you for sharing the Tina Fey prayer.And for your genuine-ness (Is that even a word?). You have enriched my life, Becca. I don’t think I could ever pull a car and I need the lessons on driving the highway, not my daughters.But YOU DID IT. How capable and strong you must feel. And what a lesson for your daughter.ReplyCancel

  • LenoriaJuly 6, 2014 - 7:33 pm

    Oh Becca, I am sending you a hug (a little tighter than you know) because I am with you and I know you will make it through this stronger than ever and also thank you for the poem, it made me laugh as I thought “been there, done that! Thank you for always seeming to be there when I need a lift and for sharing your gorgeous creations and also “just life tidbits” with us.ReplyCancel

  • Judy McMullenJuly 6, 2014 - 9:15 pm

    Thank you for sharing Tina Fey’s “A Mother’s Prayer” and what is happening in your life. Wishing you many blessings! HUGS!!ReplyCancel

  • Gayle in Ontario,July 6, 2014 - 9:45 pm

    Becca, you are so strong & I admire you so much – if it needs doing -You Do It! I can’t imagine losing my soul mate but I would grieve forever. You are so young..we are in our 70’s

    I love the written word & hate how the cost of stamps has risen. I feel it’s one of the ways I reach out to people is by sending them handmade cards. They are so happy to get something in the mail and a handmade card!!! with a letter..they are so thrilled. Most people tell me they keep them all..
    Love your cards and thanks for being such an inspiration

  • Ros HodgkinsJuly 7, 2014 - 4:10 am

    Becca, the words of this Poem will touch the heart of every mother, especially those who are like you doing it all by themselves. It is my belief that the third year of a bereavement is the worst as there are no memories of what we did last time/ year. It is just you on your own, with the help of Almighty God, who gives us the strength to do all we need to do. I send you love and prayers that this sadness will soon lift.
    X Ros Hodgkins, Cambridgeshire England.ReplyCancel

  • Janet FlemingJuly 7, 2014 - 5:45 am

    He Becca,
    What an inspiration you are. I live in a small town in Lancashire, England.
    I remember when my last child left home. Tears and more tears, I am fortunate to have my four children not far from home. I love your cards.
    I love your blog. bless you.
    Jan xxxReplyCancel

  • ConniecrafterJuly 7, 2014 - 7:21 am

    I don’t care how long John has been gone, anytime you go through a milestone that you dreamed of doing with him, it is going to be rough and I am so glad you got through it and now with God’s strength he will get you through. This is going to be a big change for you both and I wish you all of God’s blessings as you travel this new road for the both of you.ReplyCancel

  • Karen WeddingJuly 7, 2014 - 8:49 am

    We have been empty nesters for a couple of years now, but every Sunday, we spend with our youngest son after church. He meets us at church and then rides with us as we do our running around, etc. He is closest to my husband, but my oldest is closest to me. My oldest moved 1 1/2 away from us, so we don’t get to see him and his wife very often. Never often enough for me, at least. I pray that your daughter will make the time to visit as often as she can. You will miss the times you had together talking and doing little things together. All I can say is time doesn’t always make it easier. Good luck and enjoy your time to yourself.ReplyCancel

  • Marilyn ClarkJuly 7, 2014 - 10:19 am

    Thanks for sharing your heart with us. God bless.ReplyCancel

  • Melissa HoffmannJuly 7, 2014 - 11:45 am

    I am also a widow of nine years and sometimes it is still hard to move on. We are strong and we do get through these types of things. I miss him every day especially when dealing with things he would have been a part of. Good luck on the next step, empty nest syndrome. I would love to get one of your cards.ReplyCancel

  • Linda RoyaltyJuly 7, 2014 - 11:47 am

    I love this post and the prayer So cute. I think grief comes in many descriptions. There is fresh grief, numbing grief, stoic grief, seasoned grief, and sometimes heart stabbing grief that catches you by surprise. I am sure there are others I can’t remember at the moment. But once you have lost a loved one, you eventually get to know most of them and a form of grief is part of your heart. But if we have joy and hope in the Lord ,we can experience them through His love. God bless. LindaReplyCancel

  • RitaJuly 7, 2014 - 1:31 pm

    Hi Becca, your blog has been on my favorite list for quite some time. Your inspiration and creations are awesome. I too am a widow of 3 years in August. Being a couple for 38 years, it’s a rough ongoing journey. A new chapter begins when my kids find an apartment and I begin yet another life adjustment. Card making for 20 years continues to be my ‘therapy’ Ü

  • Becky GreenJuly 7, 2014 - 3:11 pm

    I’m proud of you Becca! :) It IS HARD in any case to let loose & let your children fly from the nest! And it is understandable to have wanted to do this with John! You never know, sometimes they come flying back, for all sorts of reasons! LOL Know you are loved & stand in that! (((HUGS Dear Lady!!!)))ReplyCancel

  • VioletJuly 7, 2014 - 6:47 pm

    I have no doubt your beloved John is indeed watching and smiling and proud of you and your family and how you handle every hard situation with grace and determination. Blessings to you and your family.ReplyCancel

  • CraftysusanJuly 8, 2014 - 3:04 am

    It must be so hard for you losing your beloved husband and now your sweet daughter has travelled so far away from you. Remember your daughter is only a plane flight away and I am sure you will speak often on the telephone. She still needs her mum’s advice and love no matter how grown up she feels at the moment. Your dear husband will be so proud of you and the way you have brought your daughter up and of all your achievements. You have them both in your heart forever. God bless Becca. xxReplyCancel

  • Jerri KayJuly 8, 2014 - 5:58 am

    Amen . . . and this goes for boys as well . .. not just daughters. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you Becca. I lost my brother 27 years ago, the grieving takes a very long time. Time does not heal all wounds, but it does lesson the pain. God Bless You!ReplyCancel

  • FreddieJuly 8, 2014 - 7:59 am

    Becca dearest, Go ahead and spill all those tears as they will NEVER dry up! Not after 3.5 nor after 35 years. Missing your other half will never go away so let all those who roll their eyes because they aren´t fortunate enough to have someone so allimportant share their lives roll an for as long as they need to.
    I´m sure your hubby watches and rejoices from above thru every day you manage to go on and cope without him. He must be so proud!ReplyCancel

  • Dedra JohnsonJuly 9, 2014 - 7:57 am

    It’s been 7 years for me. I’ve learned to not apologize for my grief. It may make some uncomfortable, but he was my life for 33 years and I still miss him. I retired a month ago and didn’t plan on doing this solo. We all have strength we didn’t know we have and God is always with us.

    Really love your cards and blog.ReplyCancel

  • Vivian StrozewskiJuly 9, 2014 - 6:28 pm

    It does seem that fewer and fewer young (and not so young) people do not know how to communicate without the use of abbreviated words. I find it so exciting to get even a brief note from someone. I enjoy doing the same for others even thought I am not as eloquent as some. I’m sure your empty nest will be filled with lovely friends who will help you over this “hump” in the road of life. Thanks for listening. I hope to be the lucky winner. VsReplyCancel

  • Jill NorwoodJuly 13, 2014 - 12:57 pm

    A beautiful post! I am in awe of you my dear and I hope when it comes to me taking my son on this journey that I will do it with grace also. It has been just over 2 years since we lost my husband and his papa to cancer and my son turned 10 years this week. He was in kindergarten when his Daddy got sick. Love the Tina Fey prayer you shared! Big hugs!!!!! JillReplyCancel